7.1.04 LOS ANGELES DODGERS vs SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
DODGERS OVERALL:
40-37
WHEN TIM KIRK IS IN
THE HOUSE: 6-0!
If you ignore the newspapers, and just go to the game with me, then the Dodgers
are having a record-breaking season.
I’d suggest it.
It’s really only a 10 minute drive from my house. We’ll park near
the Police Academy (thank you, Peter!) and skip the $10 parking fee. Sure,
it’s a bit of a hike in and out, but I promise you we’ll be back
at my place before most people have even left the parking lot.
And get this, the Dodgers will win. Guaranteed.
There is still always something new to learn at the park, though. For example,
tonight I learnt, repeatedly, that Barry Bonds Sucks.
Since this was Dodgers/Giants, I got my tickets online the week before. The
best tickets available were in the left-field, just shy of the bull-pen. AKA,
parallel with Barry Bonds. While I might have ended up with these tickets,
the rest of the fans in our section were there by design – they had a
message – they were intent on having that message heard – and that
message was that Barry Bonds Sucks!
I quick note on my opinion of Barry Bonds: I don’t like Barry Bonds.
I really don’t like him. And I don’t like any hitter of his power
in a Giants’ uniform. But, I have to say that really, I don’t think
that Barry Bonds Sucks!
My opinion didn’t matter much out in section 55. Barry Bonds Sucks when
he hits a home-run. Barry Bonds Sucks when he makes a tough catch look easy.
Barry Bonds seems to suck at many other, more intangible moments. Like when
Shawn Greene is at bat – Barry Sucks! Like during a pitcher change –
it turns out that Barry Sucks! When a ball-boy runs onto the field to retrieve
a beach-ball: guess who sucks? It’s Barry.
So, I’m quietly simmering in my seat, wondering how much this chant
is affecting the game: Schmidt is pitching, he hears the chant, thinks “oh
my, Barry sucks? My left fielder sucks? I’m screwed.” Or Greene
steps out of the box, cups an ear, “what’s that I hear? Barry sucks?
In that case, I’m going to slap this baby out of the park!”
And then something miraculous happens: Barry DOES suck! He over-runs a ball!
This allows a run to score and the tying run to remain on second base. As
it turns out, he lost the game in that one play.
ERROR – 7!
LET’S MAKE SOME NOISE!
Forget earlier, this is Salem Witch Trials, this is Trial At Nuremberg! BARRY
SUCKS! BARRY SUCKS! BARRY SUCKS!
And suddenly, I find myself resigned to agreeing with the mob.
The rest of the game was hauntingly familiar. Tied in the bottom of the Eighth,
Howard says, “We get one run, we get Gagne, and we win the game.”
We get one run (though an unlikely Shawn Greene clutch double to score Izturis).
We get Gagne who strikes out the side (thereby doubling the strike-outs in
the game). And Randy Newman sings us out of the Stadium.
Not to make light of Gagne’s 83rd consecutive save – it’s 55,000 people on their feet before the inning starts, it’s “Welcome To The Jungle” at full-volume, it’s “GAME OVER!” flashing everywhere! It’s wonderful!
FINAL SCORE: Dodgers 5, Giants 4.
Tim Kirk
