8.13.00
ANAHEIIM ANGELS vs NEW YORK YANKEES
For his next trick, could Ortiz bring down Roger Clemens too? I wasn't about to miss it if he did, so five days after the most impressive pitching display I've had the good fortune to witness I drove down to Anaheim once more, this time to see them take on the Yankees.
Now, the one thing that can be said for the Angels over the last five years or so is that no matter how much they've sucked, they've always found a way to beat the Yankees. And having grown up a Dodger fan, subject to the formative experience of watching Reggie Jackson and the rest of those obnoxious a-holes take my Dodgers two years running in the World Series, I have issues with the Yankees that will not be shaken in this lifetime. Never mind that any way you cut it, the Yankees of the last five years are among the greatest teams in the history of sport, or that the brand of baseball they play is admirably hard-nosed and unglamorous, or the fact, often overlooked because of high-profile signings like Clemens, that the core of the team came up through the Yankees' farm system. Never mind any of that. They are the Yankees. I fucking hate 'em.
So it worked out nicely: the Yankees were in town, so I could cheer on Ortiz and the Angels without embarrassment. The presence of 25,000 Yankees fans—is there a more repellent thought in the world?—was something I'd just have to do my best to ignore.
Unfortunately, Ramon Ortiz apparently could not get ahold of the glass slipper he'd borrowed the week before, and he struggled early on. He handed the Yankees a run in the second on three walks and a hit batter, and another in the fourth on a single, two walks and a balk. It wasn't like he was getting pounded; Ortiz just seemed to have misplaced the poise that'd made his previous outing so remarkable.
Darin Erstad singled in a run for the Angels in the bottom of the fifth, and Ortiz kept it a one-run game through the seventh, when it appeared that the home team might make a game of it. They made a skit of it instead. Tim Salmon, benched with a sore knee, came in with two out to pinch-hit for Kevin Stocker in the nine-spot. Clemens, who'd been sailing along effortlessly up until now, served up a pitch that Salmon banged through the hole between second and first for a single. It was Clemen's 101st pitch, and Joe Torre evidently thought it'd be best to get him out of the game while he was ahead.
So you've got a guy on, Clemens out of the game, and the top of the Angels' order coming up. Which, if you've been to a game at Edison Field this season, could only mean one thing: Rally Monkey time! That goddamn freaky-ass Rally Monkey, so flat-out weird that it borders on the Lynchian, has gotten to me. I'll admit it: it's funny. So funny that hardly anyone in the crowd noticed when Mike Stanton came in to replace Clemens, and Benji Gil took Salmon's place at first. Stanton's warm-up tosses complete, the laughs continued as Erstad stepped to the plate to the traditional hillbilly accompaniment of that ridiculous “Chattahoochee” song. The crowd was giddy, everyone on their feet, the tension mounting with each passing second. Stanton looks in, nods, goes into his stretch, and...picks off Gil at first for the final out! Cue the laugh track!
FINAL SCORE: YANKEES 4, ANGELS 1
MEMORABLE HECKLE: No one topped the fellow down near the infield who kept shouting “You can do it!” in a thick Persian accent, regardless of the circumstances on the field. Scott Brosius takes a strike looking: “You can do it!” Derek Jeter fouls one off: “You can do it!” Bengie Molina is put out on a 5-3 play: “You can do it!”
